"If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?”
I am on a rocky path of self-discovery right now, one gifted to me without my requesting it.
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a lifetime stuck in silence
Afraid you'll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?”
- Emeli Sandé
One of the most stirring and inspiring songs ever conceived has just graced my iPod and is causing me to reflect… What is MY song? What is it that “I wanna sing, I wanna shout, I wanna scream 'til the words dry out?
Words and phrases may change with each new day, mood or collection of feelings… but underneath it all, one notion, one impression, one simple proclamation keeps hammering in my brain… Why is it so dif f icult to be content with what I have right now?
Is it human nature, or are we conditioned to always want more? To believe we need more to be happy.
I am on a rocky path of self-discovery right now, one gifted to me without my requesting it. I feel challenged to delve into how I measure happiness. To discover what really matters to me.
Wise men and women say, ah yes, you are at that age when you look back and think… what was that all about. Why, oh why, did I do it that way? And how could I have done it with more finesse? How could I have made it more satisfying for all? Perhaps it is the interjection of experience speaking, the wisdom that arrives with age.
When I tenderly gaze upon this photograph, I do not yearn for my youth to return. No, I remember with great fondness and joy the excitement and newness of young love. I rejoice in the knowledge that I was lucky enough to experience such gifts, such joy, such pleasures, no matter how complicated they were. We should all be blessed with such aching emotion and longing.
But, I have a new path now, one that has less to do with falling in love, and more to do with simply being in love; being in love with this very moment, right here, right now and accepting my shortcomings, faults and weaknesses. Time is seasoned now for loving myself and is sanctioning me to be me.
Yes, the greatest gift I can bestow upon myself today is love, forgiveness and the fortitude of faith. Faith in experiencing that I am truly blessed to be alive, deserving of my own love, and the love radiated from others.
So yes, mature love is a different kind of love, no better, no worse, just more settled, integrated and worthy of our songs, shouts and screams. After all do not the sages sing to us, we are love.